The Amazing She-Male

Come one! Come all! And observe the amazing She-Male!

What I failed to mention the other day in my "The Man's Rule of Double Bad" post is that a similar scale exists for females as well. On the scale of manly femaleness I, and a couple of my other favorite women, happen to be on the more manly side of feminine. As can be proved by my actions last night.

Andy and I were making dinner and I noticed Matty's airsoft gun on the counter. Stewie was on the counter as usual, so I picked up the gun and pointed it at his haunches. (Yes I know there are all kinds of things wrong with the information in that paragraph. But that's how I roll.)

Cyndi: "All right Stewie, last chance."
Andy: Actually, that thing really hurts. You shouldn't shoot him.
Cyndi: How do you know?
Andy: I shot myself in the hand to see if it would hurt.
Cyndi: And?
Andy: It does.
Cyndi: Really? That bad huh?
Andy: Yep.

Cyndi looks at the gun curiously.
Andy: Don't do it. I'm telling you, it really hurts.

Witness the duality of the amazing she-male's brain. Cyndi's Man Brain thinks: Well if he could shoot his hand then it must not hurt that much. What are you? A wuss? Go on, try it! Don't you want to show Andy how tough you are? Cyndi's Woman Brain is surprisingly on board as well: The pellets are red and green! Look how Christmassy they look. Nothing that festive could hurt that bad. I mean, it's not like they're metal bbs or anything.

Cyndi aims the gun at the most padded spot she can think of (her hiney) and pulls the trigger. Unfortunately it's the woman brain aiming and she shoots herself in the back of the thigh.

Cyndi: YOUUUCH! Holy mother! That freakin hurts! Why didn't you tell me? *Hopping around the kitchen in pain while holding her thigh.*
Andy: *Sighs*

And today, my thigh looks like...well...like someone shot it with an airsoft gun. Hee.

Go on, tell me how brilliant I am. I'm waiting.

Cyndi